Posted in Her story

If it wasn’t for the past…

By KM

In my therapy session last week, I said “If it wasn’t for the past, JP would be the perfect husband (now)”. My therapist said maybe this is what it took to get him there. Hmmm. I think she tries to get me to see the silver lining to this whole ordeal. I’m still not to the point of thinking this all “happened for a reason”. She is right, though, in that the last D-Day was the final straw and the catalyst to my husband’s change.

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Posted in Her story, Our Story

Happy New Year

By KM

I’m wishing everyone a joyful, peaceful, healthy, and prosperous 2022. As I’m reflecting back at 2021, I realize much has changed in my life. JP and I haven’t been posting as much because, well, we’ve just been living our lives. We’ve settled into our new “normal”. Recovery work isn’t the focus anymore, but we’ve integrated healthier habits and connection into our everyday routine. We were just discussing today how long it’s been since we watched TV and we don’t miss it. We spent more time last year with our daughter and her family. I reconnected with a dear friend, had some unexpected opportunities at work, and went through the Rescued workbook with a group of friends. Last week, I added a Resources page to our site. Everything isn’t “perfect” because life never is, but I’m even more hopeful than I was at this time last year.

Posted in Her story

Stepping Off The Hot Coals

By KM

I finally feel at peace. I’ve been in therapy for almost two years. One year and eleven months, to be exact. When I told my trauma therapist that I feel peace and that all the mental background chatter has stopped, she said it’s like I’ve been walking on hot coals for the past two years with very intense therapy sessions and now I’ve finally stepped off.

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Posted in Her story

A New Marriage: The Wife’s Perspective

By KM

My husband and I had to start over with our marriage. We didn’t try to rebuild it, because the foundation was cracked and faulty. We had to tear it down and start from the beginning. Is our marriage better now? Yes. Would I go through all of this again to have a better marriage? No way. But this is where I’m at in life.

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Posted in Her story

Never Left Out

By KM

I feel like it’s been extremely beneficial for me and our marriage that my husband has included me in his recovery. JP never believed in “stay on your side of the street”. I’ve never read about or heard another wife who said it was beneficial for her addict husband to work his recovery while leaving her in the dark.

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Posted in Her story

Regaining My Sanity

By KM

It’s been 13 months since my husband confessed the extent of acting out in his addiction. I refer to that as our “informal disclosure”. We had never heard of Formal Therapeutic Disclosure at that time and I didn’t have a therapist, so I was left to muddle through the range of emotions that followed. I thought I was going insane. I was overwhelmed with anger and sadness. I couldn’t sleep, barely ate, couldn’t concentrate, and had almost constant intrusive thoughts.

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