I have not posted in a while because things have been good. I am not the same person I was when I started this journey in 2019. I have resolved the childhood trauma that kept me stuck in my addiction. It still happened, but it is in the past now. I have a new healthy marriage and a better relationship with my wife. Life still throws challenges at me, but I have learned to deal with them in a healthy, mature way. My wife occasionally gets triggered, but I have the maturity and empathy to hold her pain.
This journey was not easy and there are no shortcuts or magic bullets. I choose to be a better person and husband every day. I have replaced my maladaptive coping skills with new healthy habits. I see people as people and not as objects. God did not create us in His image except with a defect that causes us to objectify women. Anyone who still believes this is still using the addict brain.
There is hope to be free of this addiction, but there must be change. No one can do this on their own or just pray it away. You must want to change and become the husband that your wife married you for. You need the help of a therapist, preferably a CSAT. You need the community of other men to stand together. You need time to develop new habits to replace the old destructive habits. I have also become a better father to my daughter and a better grandfather to my grandchildren. I want to give back and help others. I have become a life coach to help other men who want help to beat this addiction.