Freedom from porn is a multi faceted approach that encompasses behavioral, spiritual, emotional, and chemical issues. We must look deep into our past to realize that it has nothing to do with porn. Porn is just the drug that we choose to cope.
Being exposed to porn at a young age leaves us stuck in an immature state. We never learn how to deal with the emotions of life. When we face an uncomfortable emotion we choose to run from it by turning to the one thing that will give us a feeling of relief. Our brain learns to seek this chemical release and porn is the straight line to it. As we grow into adulthood we take this method of coping with us. Anytime that we face an uncomfortable emotion we revert back to the child and seek relief from the one thing that we know will work.
We become isolated and are incapable of establishing healthy connections. We seek God, but all the prayers will never make it go away. Porn is evil and it allows us to be influenced by evil spirits. They influence us and keep us separated from God. Isolated, we go through life seeking something that we can never find. We let our shame and secrets infect everything and everyone around us. We lose hope and believe that we can never be free. But all is not lost and there is hope.
I have faith in God and he has led me to freedom, but the path was not easy. I had to let go of my secrets and face the truth of the trauma that I caused my wife. I chose to seek out connections with a 12 step group because there’s strength in fellowship. I finally forgave myself and gave myself grace. I haven’t forgotten what I have done, but I dropped that weight of shame that I was carrying around. I sought out professional help and found a CSAT that helped me resolve the trauma of my childhood. I was able to face my emotions as an adult and not a child. I learned to hold my wife’s pain and not go into shame and anger. I chose to eliminate anything that was allowing unhealthy images into my head like television and unfiltered internet. I have accountability software on my phone and there are no secrets from my wife. I have found freedom in a new healthy way of living. I see all people as God’s children. I have defeated this at the root and I am not tempted or triggered. The thought that led to the feeling which led to my acting out just isn’t there anymore. Life is stressful but I can face it with the maturity of an adult and the faith in my God.