I have not posted in a while because things are good. My recovery has been positive and I am not the person that I used to be.
At this point I am focusing on my diet because what we eat has an impact on our brain. I’m reading Dr. Amen’s books on brain health. I didn’t get to this point without hard work and a commitment to make a positive change. Patrick Carnes calls it a second order change. Saying I am going to change and making a change are two different things.
My addiction does not define me nor does it have any control over me. I don’t have to surrender or utilize the 3 second rule. I am not tied to my faulty beliefs and trauma from my childhood. I fully own my actions and behaviors. I choose to live a life of honesty because it is so much easier to tell the truth. I acknowledge the trauma that I have caused my wife and I will hold her pain anytime that she is triggered. Recovery has become a healthy way of living and a healthier marriage. I am a better husband and will continue to work on being a better person and husband each day.